Tea Party

After we got back from the jewelry mall our guide had us quickly fill out some paperwork for the visa and I headed back to our room. As soon as I walked in Zhao Lei brought me over to show me her new suitcase. She and Baba had gone out and bought it at a store right next to our hotel. Actually it is right behind the McDon*lds that is right next to our hotel. It is a big suitcase and pretty nice. Ray said he paid 250 yuan for it ($40). Zhau Lei wanted she and I to pack up her clothes right then. We folded and packed up all of her clothes, even though we aren't leaving for a few days.
I am pretty much doing whatever she wants now. Last night I was thinking about how many changes have gone on in her life in just a few days and how amazing she has handled it all. She was pushing it a little bit yesterday, but I think it was because she was really wound up by finally playing with other children (instead of just Ray and I). I felt really bad about what she is going through. Also, I lost track of time last night and hadn't realized that it was 11:00 pm before I turned off the lights and had her go to bed. Bad mommy. She was exhausted when we woke her up today. She didn't want to get up or go downstairs to eat breakfast. We couldn't explain that we were all going to see a temple. So we insisted that we were hungry and we all had to go eat. She didn't mope once we were down there, but she didn't smile at all. She sat in front of the bus with Michael and seemed to have fun. She got bored at the temple and was very tired of any shopping we did. She played with the lttle kids a lot at the temple and at lunch. She really likes little children. She was irritated with me that I wouldn't buy her ice cream before lunch. After lunch she was clearly very tired, so it was perfect that she and Ray stayed home from the jewelry mall.
When we were in Hangzhou she held our hands a lot when we were out of the hotel room, but she hasn't done that at all here. She actually has kind of kept her distance from us when we are out. We let her wander a little because she loves to talk with people. Today she helped one nice hotel employee open the door for guests while we were all waiting in the lobby to go to the temple. We are pretty much just trying to get through until we get home to start making her follow our rules. We have had to be firm a few times for safety reasons. It was much easier adopting an infant. You can hug them, kiss them, feed them....and the bonding happens easily because you are touching and providing for their fundamental needs right away. Adopting and older child has been harder. Not harder than I thought, just harder than with an infant. She doesn't want us to hug her yet, she doesn't speak much when it is just the three of us and she doesn't seem interested in teaching us any Mandarin words. What is great is that she keeps herself busy with movies, books, or toys while we are in the room, she is always happy to go wherever the big group is going, and she hasn't head one meltdown out of anger. It's hard to describe how we are doing this wihout speaking the same language. There have been awkward moments, but overall we are just doing it.
I kind of forced Zhao Lei and Ray out of the room and to the island. I had seen a couple of things that I wanted and I just wanted to get them and cross it off my list mentally. Neither of them wanted to go. They weren't hungry and they just wanted to stay in the room. I knew Zhao Lei should get out of the room for a little while, so decided to bring her to the playground behind Lucy's. I picked up a H*ppy Meal for $3 and we took a taxi over. It turned out that there were no lights on at the playground so we all went to the store by the back entrance of the White Sw*n Hotel. I shopped for the things I wanted and then we all left. We had bought Zhao Lei a tea set, so when we got back she and I cleaned it out in the sink. She is very neat and even cleans her plate and silverware before we eat when we go out. Not a compulsive thing, but clearly there has been a reason to take care of things and keep them clean. I suggested we have a tea party with her big pink bear and little stuffed octopus thing. She thought it was funny, so we made tea and she served myself, Ray, the bear, the octopus and herself tea. She then served us another cup with a cookie and then another with a cookie and a cute piece of candy we had bought earlier. Ray and I made a point to be silly and have fun and we know she enjoyed it. We finally had to stop so she could take a bath, watch a movie and go to sleep. It was a good night for all of us.